Thursday, March 19, 2009
New addition to our family :)
In July 2008, I had written that my sister's expecting a baby.... well, after all these months of wait, here she is ... We are just bowled over by her and she's only a couple of hours old :)......
Friday, December 12, 2008
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi :)
The tagline of the Shah Rukh Film says, "There is an extraordinary love story in every ordinary jodi". Well, I can definitely say that it holds true for Sarang and me :). Our story is straight out of a Yashraj Film (including a white salwar kameez... LOL!...but no details there, sorry...). In fact, we often joke that we should sell our story to Yashraj Films in lieu of guest appearances in the film with Shah Rukh in the lead :).
Most of you reading this post might know this, but Sarang and I met some 26 years back, as primary school going students in Hyderabad. We were in the same class. We weren't great friends, but I remembered his name because it was long and unusual. Another reason that I remembered him was that his grandfather used to come to school to drop Sarang and his brothers everyday and was very nice to me. He used to give me candies :). Having lost my own grandfathers recently, I took an instant liking to the nice gentleman.
Sarang remembered me for another reason he tells me. When we were in the second class, and were being taught about butterflies, there was this huge craze amongst our classmates to catch butterflies. Apparently, I had caught one and showed off! And Sarang, in order to prove that he could do it too, spent many a day in search of the elusive butterfly. One day, he caught something he thought was a butterfly and showed it to me. And I said, "Chhee, that's not a butterfly. It's an insect, you fool!" He says he remembered my face with my nose all screwed up :).
Cut to 1992. I had moved to Calcutta on account of my father's transfer and Sarang was in Hyderabad. I had earlier moved to another school (St.Ann's) while still in Hyderabad. After 10th class boards, one of my friends from St. Ann's moved to Sarang's school. She told me about everyone in her new class and I wrote back telling her that I remembered so and so. Amongst those names was Sarang's name :). He told her that he remembered me as well and we got writing to each other. After a few letters, I delayed a reply and meanwhile Sarang moved to Chennai. I didn't receive the letter he sent me with his new address. And our letters stopped.
Cut to 2004. Sarang was in Honolulu and I was in Bangalore, recovering from a surgery, an ankle fracture and much much more. I badly needed a friend and most of my friends had turned their back on me. And one day, I found Sarang on batchmates.com . We got talking. I got in touch with a lot of old friends that I had lost touch with and was pleasantly surprised to note that they still remembered me. But it was with Sarang that I could TALK. We talked, and talked and talked. I was surprised when I realized that I was telling him things I hadn't begun accepting myself. We talked about music and films most of the time and yes, we shared Ghalib :). I moved to Dhaka, Bangladesh with a new job and Sarang kept in touch. Sometimes, he'd stay up all night on weekends to talk to me. It was great fun. Somewhere along the line, we realized that we wanted to be together always, because phone calls were not enough for our discussions .... LOL! :) By the way, there was no formal proposal from Sarang. All he said was, "Let's get married the next time we meet", like he didn't even have the slightest doubt that I'd marry him.
And marry we did :). We married the day after we actually met after 18 years! We had planned to marry a day later, but the venue wasn't available on Sunday, so everything was done within a day and we got married on the 23rd of July. There were a lot of hurdles to overcome, but we did all that and had a small Arya Samaj wedding. Vedic Rites never made more sense to me. It was raining cats and dogs on that day and I got married with my hair still wet. I didn't even have a matching blouse for my new saree... but all that didn't matter on that day. One of our common friends (unfortunately, he's no more today) came down for our wedding, my family and family friends blessed us and there we were.... married. MARRIED. I was really scared of being married. Being an oddity for an Indian girl, I wasn't sure if marriage would restrain my free spirit. Even more doubtful I was, of making someone else happy. I really didn't have that faith in myself at that time. But with Sarang's love and support, I overcame those doubts and became more confident of myself as a person.
Its been a good three and a half years since then, and we haven't stopped talking :). We haven't stopped fighting and we haven't stopped giggling. People find it strange that we spend all our free time together, doing things together. But really, there is no other way we would have it. When I am making flowers, Sarang keeps me company watching his Japanese films :). When he wants to see an English film that I can't bear to see (Sorry, no vampires and werewolves for me!), I wait for him outside the cinema hall reading my book. Once we are through, we again get back to discussing films, music, cricket, politics, religion, state of the world ...... basically anything :). We play silly games, we hike, we travel and we entertain. We are happy together. There are people who are still skeptical about our relationship, but we aren't.
That's an extraordinary story for you and a real one too :). Love does happen Yashraj style sometimes.
Do go and watch Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, because matches are really made in heaven.
Most of you reading this post might know this, but Sarang and I met some 26 years back, as primary school going students in Hyderabad. We were in the same class. We weren't great friends, but I remembered his name because it was long and unusual. Another reason that I remembered him was that his grandfather used to come to school to drop Sarang and his brothers everyday and was very nice to me. He used to give me candies :). Having lost my own grandfathers recently, I took an instant liking to the nice gentleman.
Sarang remembered me for another reason he tells me. When we were in the second class, and were being taught about butterflies, there was this huge craze amongst our classmates to catch butterflies. Apparently, I had caught one and showed off! And Sarang, in order to prove that he could do it too, spent many a day in search of the elusive butterfly. One day, he caught something he thought was a butterfly and showed it to me. And I said, "Chhee, that's not a butterfly. It's an insect, you fool!" He says he remembered my face with my nose all screwed up :).
Cut to 1992. I had moved to Calcutta on account of my father's transfer and Sarang was in Hyderabad. I had earlier moved to another school (St.Ann's) while still in Hyderabad. After 10th class boards, one of my friends from St. Ann's moved to Sarang's school. She told me about everyone in her new class and I wrote back telling her that I remembered so and so. Amongst those names was Sarang's name :). He told her that he remembered me as well and we got writing to each other. After a few letters, I delayed a reply and meanwhile Sarang moved to Chennai. I didn't receive the letter he sent me with his new address. And our letters stopped.
Cut to 2004. Sarang was in Honolulu and I was in Bangalore, recovering from a surgery, an ankle fracture and much much more. I badly needed a friend and most of my friends had turned their back on me. And one day, I found Sarang on batchmates.com . We got talking. I got in touch with a lot of old friends that I had lost touch with and was pleasantly surprised to note that they still remembered me. But it was with Sarang that I could TALK. We talked, and talked and talked. I was surprised when I realized that I was telling him things I hadn't begun accepting myself. We talked about music and films most of the time and yes, we shared Ghalib :). I moved to Dhaka, Bangladesh with a new job and Sarang kept in touch. Sometimes, he'd stay up all night on weekends to talk to me. It was great fun. Somewhere along the line, we realized that we wanted to be together always, because phone calls were not enough for our discussions .... LOL! :) By the way, there was no formal proposal from Sarang. All he said was, "Let's get married the next time we meet", like he didn't even have the slightest doubt that I'd marry him.
And marry we did :). We married the day after we actually met after 18 years! We had planned to marry a day later, but the venue wasn't available on Sunday, so everything was done within a day and we got married on the 23rd of July. There were a lot of hurdles to overcome, but we did all that and had a small Arya Samaj wedding. Vedic Rites never made more sense to me. It was raining cats and dogs on that day and I got married with my hair still wet. I didn't even have a matching blouse for my new saree... but all that didn't matter on that day. One of our common friends (unfortunately, he's no more today) came down for our wedding, my family and family friends blessed us and there we were.... married. MARRIED. I was really scared of being married. Being an oddity for an Indian girl, I wasn't sure if marriage would restrain my free spirit. Even more doubtful I was, of making someone else happy. I really didn't have that faith in myself at that time. But with Sarang's love and support, I overcame those doubts and became more confident of myself as a person.
Its been a good three and a half years since then, and we haven't stopped talking :). We haven't stopped fighting and we haven't stopped giggling. People find it strange that we spend all our free time together, doing things together. But really, there is no other way we would have it. When I am making flowers, Sarang keeps me company watching his Japanese films :). When he wants to see an English film that I can't bear to see (Sorry, no vampires and werewolves for me!), I wait for him outside the cinema hall reading my book. Once we are through, we again get back to discussing films, music, cricket, politics, religion, state of the world ...... basically anything :). We play silly games, we hike, we travel and we entertain. We are happy together. There are people who are still skeptical about our relationship, but we aren't.
That's an extraordinary story for you and a real one too :). Love does happen Yashraj style sometimes.
Do go and watch Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, because matches are really made in heaven.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Why is our President Missing in Action?
Our President Pratibha Patil has been Missing in Action. No actually, she is touring the South East Asia. :) While India grapples with the worst terrorist attack on our country EVER, President Patil - the SUPREME COMMANDER OF OUR ARMED FORCES is continuing her tour abroad.
A little background on her - She is a Sonia Gandhi loyalist, the most important qualification for any government post, yes, even the highest (Why Indians continue paying obeisance to an Italian lady who refused to accept Indian citizenship for a very long time, and who fled the country when emergency was declared is completely beyond me!). Ever since Mrs.Patil has been appointed President, she has continued to make political and social faux pas. Sometimes, she declares having spoken with 'spirits', sometimes she says she is the first woman President in the world! With people like her at the helm of our country, is it any surprise that we are soft targets for the terrorists?
A little background on her - She is a Sonia Gandhi loyalist, the most important qualification for any government post, yes, even the highest (Why Indians continue paying obeisance to an Italian lady who refused to accept Indian citizenship for a very long time, and who fled the country when emergency was declared is completely beyond me!). Ever since Mrs.Patil has been appointed President, she has continued to make political and social faux pas. Sometimes, she declares having spoken with 'spirits', sometimes she says she is the first woman President in the world! With people like her at the helm of our country, is it any surprise that we are soft targets for the terrorists?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
MY BRAND NEW WEBSITE
I started working on my DECO Clay website almost a year ago. For someone who has almost no clue about programming and website designing, it was a tough thing to do. I approached several people to help me out with this. Honestly, most were of no help at all. Then, Sarang's friend Meher (Please visit his photography pages for a visual treat. A link to the same is provided on my blog), stepped in and created some web pages for me on WORDPRESS. It was a good start, but I wanted more. And to make it more complicated, I had specific ideas of what I wanted. So, Sarang and I started working on it and after a lot of atrocious designs (Have you ever noticed how some things that look good invidually don't look that great when arranged together?) reached a color scheme and finally put in some text and images. All these months, we did not find time to work on the website again.
Meanwhile, we moved from Arizona to Hawaii and I started teaching small groups, on behalf of my academy, at some craft stores and some people started asking for arrangements to buy. Also, there were several enquiries from my website. So, we decided to have an online shopping cart. So, yesterday, I decided to install (or whatever the right technical word is) the entire cart on the website. That I did! But.... I messed up big time :). I deleted all the pages that I had previously created. So, Sarang and I worked again on creating a new website (Sarang on the codes and I on the aesthetics) and we added more text, more links, more photos , made it more secure..... basically, made it more fun (At least that's what it seems to us :) ). ALL IN A DAY'S TIME!
Included in the E-Commerce package that we bought, was a Traffic Facts program. We installed that too. That gave us some BIG surprises.... We came to know that my website has been visited by people all across the world.... from countries like Sweden, Singapore, Canada, Italy, China, Canada and of course, USA and India. Even people from small cities like Amravati in Maharashtra, India have visited my website. How exciting is that! The program also lets me know what websites/links people followed, to get into my site. Here too, I was surprised to know that other than my academy website (where I am listed as an instructor), and the search engines, people visited my website following links even from Sarang's blog and passionforcinema.com! Wow! One thing that disappointed me though, was that, not enough people were following the link provided on my Orkut profile to visit my website. Basically, not many people listed on my Orkut profile are too interested in my work.... that is a let down, but its okay, I guess :). I do know that a lot of my acquaintances are of the opinion that I am wasting my time and money on a non-academic/corporate endeavor :), but if I keep thinking of only the negatives, I will be a part of the rat race and not do what I think is fun and fulfilling. Sarang's happy with my pursuing this craft and so, I am happy too. A word of encouragement would be great though! Please leave your feedback on my website's contact page....
Meanwhile, we moved from Arizona to Hawaii and I started teaching small groups, on behalf of my academy, at some craft stores and some people started asking for arrangements to buy. Also, there were several enquiries from my website. So, we decided to have an online shopping cart. So, yesterday, I decided to install (or whatever the right technical word is) the entire cart on the website. That I did! But.... I messed up big time :). I deleted all the pages that I had previously created. So, Sarang and I worked again on creating a new website (Sarang on the codes and I on the aesthetics) and we added more text, more links, more photos , made it more secure..... basically, made it more fun (At least that's what it seems to us :) ). ALL IN A DAY'S TIME!
Included in the E-Commerce package that we bought, was a Traffic Facts program. We installed that too. That gave us some BIG surprises.... We came to know that my website has been visited by people all across the world.... from countries like Sweden, Singapore, Canada, Italy, China, Canada and of course, USA and India. Even people from small cities like Amravati in Maharashtra, India have visited my website. How exciting is that! The program also lets me know what websites/links people followed, to get into my site. Here too, I was surprised to know that other than my academy website (where I am listed as an instructor), and the search engines, people visited my website following links even from Sarang's blog and passionforcinema.com! Wow! One thing that disappointed me though, was that, not enough people were following the link provided on my Orkut profile to visit my website. Basically, not many people listed on my Orkut profile are too interested in my work.... that is a let down, but its okay, I guess :). I do know that a lot of my acquaintances are of the opinion that I am wasting my time and money on a non-academic/corporate endeavor :), but if I keep thinking of only the negatives, I will be a part of the rat race and not do what I think is fun and fulfilling. Sarang's happy with my pursuing this craft and so, I am happy too. A word of encouragement would be great though! Please leave your feedback on my website's contact page....
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Being an Indian in the USA (You could call it being an NRI Part III)
This blog is about being an Indian in the USA. What's the difference from being an NRI? Well, my previous posts were about the reactions to us from people back home. This one is about reactions from Americans to us Indians - and trust me, they are equally amusing!
Well, for starters, Americans get confused if we say we are Indians. To them Indians mean Native Americans (We used to call them Red Indians, remember?). So, we are still paying for Christopher Columbus' folly :). Just because he thought that he'd reached India, the Native Americans are still known as Indians. And the Americans - native and immigrant - have made no attempt to correct themselves in all these years (The politically correct term is Native American though!). Anyway, the jist of all this explanation is, that we Indians (the India waale) have to qualify ourselves as East Indian! We can't even call ourselves Asian... the reason? For Americans, ASIA, means China, Japan, Malaysia, Phillipines etc. Basically, any country that has people with Mongoloid Race characteristics. Even if you say that India is within Asia, a lot of them will look lost! So, here's the conversation that happens between me and a regular American on a regular basis:
AMERICAN: 'So, are you .... are you....?' (They are very sensitive about not saying the wrong word and hurting you .... lest you think that they are racist :)
Me: Yes, I am. I am an Indian.
AMERICAN: Indian? (They give you THAT look!) Oh East Indian! (Realization!)
Me: Well, I am an Indian from INDIA (Have to make my point too :). I take great joy in irritating people!
What follows this declaration of mine, can tell you more about the person I am talking to...... you can almost predict which way its going to go.....
Response 1 : So, so..... is it true that elephants roam around freely on Indian roads?
My feelings: Those of anger, frustration.... almost feel like banging their heads on the nearest wall.
Kind of American: No clue about India. The kind that thinks that India obviously is a country full of savages (and Pagans, if I may say so :) ), where elephants and other wild animals roam around on city roads. And people usually adopt the occupation of a snake charmer. Do I blame the Americans? Well, yes and no. Yes because, even a guy like Steven Spielberg - when he made a film like Indiana Jones, the Temple of Doom - chose to reinforce the beliefs of his countrymen about India, rather than give them a proper picture. Yes, because most people in influential positions make no attempt to educate their countrymen about the great wonder that is India! And that includes people like President George Bush (who anyway looks like he doesn't know what he is talking about half the time! Heard his latest statement about India and China being responsible for eating more and driving up food prices? He should just stick to what he's best at - Giving clueless looks and walking his dog.) and the Presidential hopefuls Mrs. Clinton and Mr.Obama. On the other hand, can you blame other country folks, when our people are at fault themselves? Ever so often I hear Indians say the most atrocious things about their own country, my country! They smugly announce how they have a 'selection' of girls to 'pick' from, for an arranged marriage. They even explain how DOWRY is their birthright! (Feel like kicking them!) One guy actually told someone that he was going to India much in advance for his sister's wedding, because he had to organize several horses and ELEPHANTS (yes, elephants!) for the wedding. Organize several horses and elephants? What was he thinking, that moron?
Then again, there are our fellow countrymen who brag about cows on our roads (which is true, but nothing to brag about!). And Americans just extend bovines to lions and tigers too!
Last but not the least, news channels like CNN (which now have a wing in India in the form of Rajdeep Sardesai's CNN-IBN) choose only to focus on weird news coming from India.... children being thrown from roofs to get blessings for them, some creepy guru walking over his disciples as a form of blessing etc. Of course we have things like that, but we have more too! How about focussing on the general interest in education in India being so much greater than in USA that they are forced to hire more and more Indians every year to take care of their most important needs? Anyway, that is the first kind of American.... rather, the first kind of impression that you find Americans have about India. Let's move on....
Response 2 : Umm.... India.... the curry country.... so tell me THE recipe for chicken curry.
The 'THE' before the recipe puts you in a spot, because you have to explain that there is no 'the' curry and that there are hundreds (or even thousands) of kinds of chicken curry. And that, curry is not the yellowish brown (sometimes red) unpalatable junk that you buy from most Desi restaurants at 10 dollars an order. Anyway, being a cook at heart, I explain it :). This is the kind of American who associates India with spicy, flavorful food. And I, like the Great Amitabh Bachchan in 'Cheeni Kum' extol the virtues of Indian cooking and explain how foreigners like them are taken for a ride in the Indian restaurants that have cheap posters of elephants (yes, again!!!!) and the Taj Mahal. This kind of conversation is not very frustrating to me.
Also, I have sometimes been pleasantly surprised at the amount of spice and heat an American can take in :). People with Hispanic backgrounds, or people from California and New Jersey (or anywhere in Canada), who have been brought up with good Indian food as an option, often gobble down dishes that I have found too hot, sometimes.
There is of course the odd American who won't touch Indian food (no matter how mild) from the fear of dying of spicyness, but that's okay.... I don't mind. After all, I wouldn't touch their Medium Rare Steak (or any steak for that matter).... and not because its beef... because, its this chunk of meat that's grilled without any masala (sometimes left almost completely raw) and to my Indian mind, everything needs SOME masala, right? :)
Response 3 : Oh! India.... I so want to go there. There is so much positive energy there, we can find so much peace..... I am a Hindu.
Though, I shouldn't ....I almost dread that declaration, though I try to cover it up with a polite "That's nice!".... Partly because an American convert to Hinduism probably knows more about my religion than I do :) and they often go on and on about the advantages of Hinduism over other religions. That is all fine and I should be happy that my religion is earning some converts, but I am not. Partly because I don't believe in organized religion and partly because I think Hinduism is much more than a religion - its a way of life and a wonderful one at that. And mostly, because most of these people have half-baked knowledge of India and Hinduism. But this is not about me or my feelings about Hinduism. So, lets get back to the fresh American Hindu convert. Now, I don't say 'convert' with the intention of putting myself on a higher plane than them, as one born a Hindu, as opposed to one converted to Hinduism. Anyway, let's come to the funny part.... you will more often than not, find that they have a BRAND NEW Hindu name. Suddenly, Joe becomes Krishna ji or Jane becomes Meera Maata. Now that is something I find really funny! Why does one need a separate name because he or she has chosen to follow a different path than before? And why, the 'ji' or ' maata' ? I mean, what person would refer to himself or herself as 'ji' in India? I must digress and mention here that I found it equally funny, when our gardener is St.Ann's school, converted to Christianity and told me, "Paapa (child), please don't call me Pochaiah uncle anymore. Call me unce Paul, for Jesus has saved me". Anyway, coming back to the original theme of this section.... there are also non-Hindu Americans, who feel they have some Karmic connection with India... and how do you recognize them? Garish Indian clothes that you and I would feel embarrassed to wear even at a wedding party, stone bindis all over their face, a long red tika on their foreheads, ill-fitting salwar kameezes and of course, kurtas that say 'OM' or "Hare Krishna" (Often Krsna, if you know what I mean :) ) ..... these are all signs of the over zealous Americans leaning towards Hinduism and India, the ones that feel that they have a 'Karmic Connexion' with India :).
Like all things, this has its benefits too. There are a few 'leaning-towards-Hinduism' stores, that sell Ayurvedic medicines, good quality agarbatti, idols and other such 'exotic' stuff, which you wouldn't find anywhere else. Also, I MUST mention here, that funny though they may seem most of the time, there are really interesting people you meet too. For instance, we went to the Iraivan temple in Kauai and till the chanting was over and the priests came out to give us prasad, I did not know that the perfect-Sanskrit speaking gentlemen were Americans! I felt humbled. Also, once in a while, I meet these gentle people who are not in-your-face Hindus.... one lady I met, was exquisitely dressed in a saree that you would find your mom in and totally at home in it. She was into holistic healing, yoga and such stuff with which you associate with the over zealous... what separated her from the prototype was her knowledge and the way she carried herself..... the good thing is, there are lots of people like that here...
Response 4 (The most common one!): Oh! BOLLYWOOD..... I am a big Bollywood fan.
Again, a response that I dread! And hate! Because most of the time, you find people who have seen the obvious movies.... "Kal Ho Na Ho", "K3G","Dhoom" or even worse just "Monsoon Wedding". We once met this bunch of 'Bollywood' fans who sang "Mahi Ve" for us. Though its entertaining to meet such people once in a while, I guess, I have had an overdose of them. Watching silly Hindi films and calling themselves BOLLYWOOD FANS. And I hate the term Bollywood.... it is not Indian, it presumes that the Hindi film industry is nothing but a culturally impverished version of Hollywood and it has come to stand for fluffy Hindi films that make no sense. Of course, I love some of those movies too..... and I am not ashamed to admit that I cry each time SRK dies onscreen in 'Kal Ho Na Ho'. But I also know that SRK is better than "Kal Ho Na Ho" or "K3G", I know he can do a "Swades", "Paheli" or "Chak De India". I know Amitabh is not just "Namak Halaal". I know that we have Satyajit Ray, Guru Dutt, Vijay Anand, Shyam Benegal, Govind Nihalani films too. And I know that we have Ritwik Ghatak, Adoor Gopalakrishnan, Mani Rathnam, Jahnu Barua, Shaji Karun, Rituparno Ghosh, Aparna Sen..... not to mention the recent out-of-the-box film makers... but more about it later. Films being my passion, I will definitely get carried away in explaining this kind of Bollywood loving American. So, there shall be another post for it :). But, I so wish that they would go and check out some of the brilliant stuff that we have. I mean, Guru Dutt, Ray, Ghatak are taught in film schools all over US and Europe, but the general public has no clue about them. And again, here too, I would blame my countrymen too. I mean, we have one BOLLYWOOD festival and we see films like "Amar Akbar Anthony", "Saanwariya", "Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai" and "Kal Ho Na Ho" - all of them reinforcing the belief of Indian cinema being nothing but fluff. Anyway.....the Knight Riders' Vs Royal Challengers of Bangalore IPL Match is distracting me ..... and I am not making much sense here..... so I shall sign off and take in the match completely.....
Of course, before I end, I would like to mention that what saves the day for me - in my interactions with Americans - are people who are like you and me, not knowing that much, but willing to learn, willing to try, willing to see India as a country beyond its backwardness and fluffy films..... (Am not too good at finishing up blogs, right?)
Well, for starters, Americans get confused if we say we are Indians. To them Indians mean Native Americans (We used to call them Red Indians, remember?). So, we are still paying for Christopher Columbus' folly :). Just because he thought that he'd reached India, the Native Americans are still known as Indians. And the Americans - native and immigrant - have made no attempt to correct themselves in all these years (The politically correct term is Native American though!). Anyway, the jist of all this explanation is, that we Indians (the India waale) have to qualify ourselves as East Indian! We can't even call ourselves Asian... the reason? For Americans, ASIA, means China, Japan, Malaysia, Phillipines etc. Basically, any country that has people with Mongoloid Race characteristics. Even if you say that India is within Asia, a lot of them will look lost! So, here's the conversation that happens between me and a regular American on a regular basis:
AMERICAN: 'So, are you .... are you....?' (They are very sensitive about not saying the wrong word and hurting you .... lest you think that they are racist :)
Me: Yes, I am. I am an Indian.
AMERICAN: Indian? (They give you THAT look!) Oh East Indian! (Realization!)
Me: Well, I am an Indian from INDIA (Have to make my point too :). I take great joy in irritating people!
What follows this declaration of mine, can tell you more about the person I am talking to...... you can almost predict which way its going to go.....
Response 1 : So, so..... is it true that elephants roam around freely on Indian roads?
My feelings: Those of anger, frustration.... almost feel like banging their heads on the nearest wall.
Kind of American: No clue about India. The kind that thinks that India obviously is a country full of savages (and Pagans, if I may say so :) ), where elephants and other wild animals roam around on city roads. And people usually adopt the occupation of a snake charmer. Do I blame the Americans? Well, yes and no. Yes because, even a guy like Steven Spielberg - when he made a film like Indiana Jones, the Temple of Doom - chose to reinforce the beliefs of his countrymen about India, rather than give them a proper picture. Yes, because most people in influential positions make no attempt to educate their countrymen about the great wonder that is India! And that includes people like President George Bush (who anyway looks like he doesn't know what he is talking about half the time! Heard his latest statement about India and China being responsible for eating more and driving up food prices? He should just stick to what he's best at - Giving clueless looks and walking his dog.) and the Presidential hopefuls Mrs. Clinton and Mr.Obama. On the other hand, can you blame other country folks, when our people are at fault themselves? Ever so often I hear Indians say the most atrocious things about their own country, my country! They smugly announce how they have a 'selection' of girls to 'pick' from, for an arranged marriage. They even explain how DOWRY is their birthright! (Feel like kicking them!) One guy actually told someone that he was going to India much in advance for his sister's wedding, because he had to organize several horses and ELEPHANTS (yes, elephants!) for the wedding. Organize several horses and elephants? What was he thinking, that moron?
Then again, there are our fellow countrymen who brag about cows on our roads (which is true, but nothing to brag about!). And Americans just extend bovines to lions and tigers too!
Last but not the least, news channels like CNN (which now have a wing in India in the form of Rajdeep Sardesai's CNN-IBN) choose only to focus on weird news coming from India.... children being thrown from roofs to get blessings for them, some creepy guru walking over his disciples as a form of blessing etc. Of course we have things like that, but we have more too! How about focussing on the general interest in education in India being so much greater than in USA that they are forced to hire more and more Indians every year to take care of their most important needs? Anyway, that is the first kind of American.... rather, the first kind of impression that you find Americans have about India. Let's move on....
Response 2 : Umm.... India.... the curry country.... so tell me THE recipe for chicken curry.
The 'THE' before the recipe puts you in a spot, because you have to explain that there is no 'the' curry and that there are hundreds (or even thousands) of kinds of chicken curry. And that, curry is not the yellowish brown (sometimes red) unpalatable junk that you buy from most Desi restaurants at 10 dollars an order. Anyway, being a cook at heart, I explain it :). This is the kind of American who associates India with spicy, flavorful food. And I, like the Great Amitabh Bachchan in 'Cheeni Kum' extol the virtues of Indian cooking and explain how foreigners like them are taken for a ride in the Indian restaurants that have cheap posters of elephants (yes, again!!!!) and the Taj Mahal. This kind of conversation is not very frustrating to me.
Also, I have sometimes been pleasantly surprised at the amount of spice and heat an American can take in :). People with Hispanic backgrounds, or people from California and New Jersey (or anywhere in Canada), who have been brought up with good Indian food as an option, often gobble down dishes that I have found too hot, sometimes.
There is of course the odd American who won't touch Indian food (no matter how mild) from the fear of dying of spicyness, but that's okay.... I don't mind. After all, I wouldn't touch their Medium Rare Steak (or any steak for that matter).... and not because its beef... because, its this chunk of meat that's grilled without any masala (sometimes left almost completely raw) and to my Indian mind, everything needs SOME masala, right? :)
Response 3 : Oh! India.... I so want to go there. There is so much positive energy there, we can find so much peace..... I am a Hindu.
Though, I shouldn't ....I almost dread that declaration, though I try to cover it up with a polite "That's nice!".... Partly because an American convert to Hinduism probably knows more about my religion than I do :) and they often go on and on about the advantages of Hinduism over other religions. That is all fine and I should be happy that my religion is earning some converts, but I am not. Partly because I don't believe in organized religion and partly because I think Hinduism is much more than a religion - its a way of life and a wonderful one at that. And mostly, because most of these people have half-baked knowledge of India and Hinduism. But this is not about me or my feelings about Hinduism. So, lets get back to the fresh American Hindu convert. Now, I don't say 'convert' with the intention of putting myself on a higher plane than them, as one born a Hindu, as opposed to one converted to Hinduism. Anyway, let's come to the funny part.... you will more often than not, find that they have a BRAND NEW Hindu name. Suddenly, Joe becomes Krishna ji or Jane becomes Meera Maata. Now that is something I find really funny! Why does one need a separate name because he or she has chosen to follow a different path than before? And why, the 'ji' or ' maata' ? I mean, what person would refer to himself or herself as 'ji' in India? I must digress and mention here that I found it equally funny, when our gardener is St.Ann's school, converted to Christianity and told me, "Paapa (child), please don't call me Pochaiah uncle anymore. Call me unce Paul, for Jesus has saved me". Anyway, coming back to the original theme of this section.... there are also non-Hindu Americans, who feel they have some Karmic connection with India... and how do you recognize them? Garish Indian clothes that you and I would feel embarrassed to wear even at a wedding party, stone bindis all over their face, a long red tika on their foreheads, ill-fitting salwar kameezes and of course, kurtas that say 'OM' or "Hare Krishna" (Often Krsna, if you know what I mean :) ) ..... these are all signs of the over zealous Americans leaning towards Hinduism and India, the ones that feel that they have a 'Karmic Connexion' with India :).
Like all things, this has its benefits too. There are a few 'leaning-towards-Hinduism' stores, that sell Ayurvedic medicines, good quality agarbatti, idols and other such 'exotic' stuff, which you wouldn't find anywhere else. Also, I MUST mention here, that funny though they may seem most of the time, there are really interesting people you meet too. For instance, we went to the Iraivan temple in Kauai and till the chanting was over and the priests came out to give us prasad, I did not know that the perfect-Sanskrit speaking gentlemen were Americans! I felt humbled. Also, once in a while, I meet these gentle people who are not in-your-face Hindus.... one lady I met, was exquisitely dressed in a saree that you would find your mom in and totally at home in it. She was into holistic healing, yoga and such stuff with which you associate with the over zealous... what separated her from the prototype was her knowledge and the way she carried herself..... the good thing is, there are lots of people like that here...
Response 4 (The most common one!): Oh! BOLLYWOOD..... I am a big Bollywood fan.
Again, a response that I dread! And hate! Because most of the time, you find people who have seen the obvious movies.... "Kal Ho Na Ho", "K3G","Dhoom" or even worse just "Monsoon Wedding". We once met this bunch of 'Bollywood' fans who sang "Mahi Ve" for us. Though its entertaining to meet such people once in a while, I guess, I have had an overdose of them. Watching silly Hindi films and calling themselves BOLLYWOOD FANS. And I hate the term Bollywood.... it is not Indian, it presumes that the Hindi film industry is nothing but a culturally impverished version of Hollywood and it has come to stand for fluffy Hindi films that make no sense. Of course, I love some of those movies too..... and I am not ashamed to admit that I cry each time SRK dies onscreen in 'Kal Ho Na Ho'. But I also know that SRK is better than "Kal Ho Na Ho" or "K3G", I know he can do a "Swades", "Paheli" or "Chak De India". I know Amitabh is not just "Namak Halaal". I know that we have Satyajit Ray, Guru Dutt, Vijay Anand, Shyam Benegal, Govind Nihalani films too. And I know that we have Ritwik Ghatak, Adoor Gopalakrishnan, Mani Rathnam, Jahnu Barua, Shaji Karun, Rituparno Ghosh, Aparna Sen..... not to mention the recent out-of-the-box film makers... but more about it later. Films being my passion, I will definitely get carried away in explaining this kind of Bollywood loving American. So, there shall be another post for it :). But, I so wish that they would go and check out some of the brilliant stuff that we have. I mean, Guru Dutt, Ray, Ghatak are taught in film schools all over US and Europe, but the general public has no clue about them. And again, here too, I would blame my countrymen too. I mean, we have one BOLLYWOOD festival and we see films like "Amar Akbar Anthony", "Saanwariya", "Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai" and "Kal Ho Na Ho" - all of them reinforcing the belief of Indian cinema being nothing but fluff. Anyway.....the Knight Riders' Vs Royal Challengers of Bangalore IPL Match is distracting me ..... and I am not making much sense here..... so I shall sign off and take in the match completely.....
Of course, before I end, I would like to mention that what saves the day for me - in my interactions with Americans - are people who are like you and me, not knowing that much, but willing to learn, willing to try, willing to see India as a country beyond its backwardness and fluffy films..... (Am not too good at finishing up blogs, right?)
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
My take on the 'Monkey' controversy
I am sure we all are tired of hearing about the controversy where Andrew Symonds claims he was called a MONKEY' by Harbhajan Singh and Bhajji denies Symond's claim. So what new thing do I have to say about it? "GROW UP!" That is what I want to tell Symonds and his team. Reporting someone because he called you a monkey? I don't know whether Harbhajan called Symonds a monkey or not. And frankly, I don't care! Least of all about the Australian cricket team who are more than well-known for their abusive sledging. But it is too small an issue for reporting someone to the ICC and enforcing a ban on him!
Well, on my family front - my husband and I used to call each other 'monkey' lovingly. We have decided to stop now... because MONKEY has suddenly become a RACIST remark. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Well, on my family front - my husband and I used to call each other 'monkey' lovingly. We have decided to stop now... because MONKEY has suddenly become a RACIST remark. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Being an NRI - Part II - New Jersey is the place to be!
Ever since people came to know that I am planning to move to US, they have been giving me all kinds of advice. That is nothing new. Indians, especially Bengalis are experts in imparting advice - warranted or unwarranted. But when they come to know that you are going to America, their advising faculties work overtime.
I am surprised by the number of Indians who think they know all about the US, just because they have a relative (mostly, a child) or a friend staying there.
I live in Honolulu, Hawaii and one of the things I hear a lot is that Hawaii is not a part of the US (Yeah, people need to brush up their GK, I guess!). Yeah, I get to hear that a LOT. I get sick of hearing it. Not that I care... because Hawaii is HAWAII :) - part of the US or not. Actually, left upto the all-knowing desis, if you don't live in New Jersey (and the surrounding states) or California, you don't live in the US. You are just making a pretense of living there, but are actually not. Social status wise, you are living in a place that is worse than living in an Indian village. Even living in crime-ridden Baltimore is better than living in Hawaii to many Indians. Reason? Its close to New York and New Jersey where there are a lot of Indians. (So?)
When we were living in Phoenix, Arizona, a lot of people (read Indians) told us that we were living in a village and there was nothing to see in Arizona (even Indians living in Arizona complained about that!). Nothing to see in Arizona? Nothing to see in the state that houses the GRAND CANYON NATIONAL PARK? We, in our one year there, couldn't get enough of Arizona - Petrified National Forest, Painted Desert, the Native American Ruins, the Meteor Crater, the RED mountains of Sedona, the small town beauty of Flagstaff, the everchanging scenary of ROUTE 66, the marvellous sunsets..... the list goes on. Apart from all this 'places to see' stuff, we found Phoenix a perfectly nice place to stay - and, I must mention here, cleaner and better maintained than any city I have seen in the US! None of the horrific traffic of California too! So, why shouldn't I want to live in Phoenix? "It's too hot for us", Indians say. Too hot? Hello..... we are INDIANS. Haven't we lived in similar temperatures in India? And we did not even have air conditioning then. The hot weather hardly affects you (unless you decide to spend an afternoon jogging in the sun!) So, I fail to understand the complaint.
The best comment came from a lady in Calcutta (my first meeting with her!). She said she's never been to the US, but has seen photos and heard about the country from her many friends who live there. She asked me where I lived. I said, "Phoenix, Arizona". I could make out that she wasn't happy with my reply. She replied, "Hmm Arizona ta ektu remote, taai na? (Arizona is a little remote, isn't it?)" I was shocked to hear her confident declaration. I was yet to recover it when she came up with her masterstroke, "Why don't you move to New Jersey? Its got beautiful Pine trees." I wanted to scream, I wanted to laugh..... move to New Jersey because it has PINE TREES? I wanted to tell her, "Lady, you don't know me, you haven't even been to the US and you are telling me where to live and giving me a ridiculous reason to relocate?" But I didn't want to hurt her, so I kept quiet and nodded dumbly. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had a Pine tree too - in my front yard, right in Arizona.
I am surprised by the number of Indians who think they know all about the US, just because they have a relative (mostly, a child) or a friend staying there.
I live in Honolulu, Hawaii and one of the things I hear a lot is that Hawaii is not a part of the US (Yeah, people need to brush up their GK, I guess!). Yeah, I get to hear that a LOT. I get sick of hearing it. Not that I care... because Hawaii is HAWAII :) - part of the US or not. Actually, left upto the all-knowing desis, if you don't live in New Jersey (and the surrounding states) or California, you don't live in the US. You are just making a pretense of living there, but are actually not. Social status wise, you are living in a place that is worse than living in an Indian village. Even living in crime-ridden Baltimore is better than living in Hawaii to many Indians. Reason? Its close to New York and New Jersey where there are a lot of Indians. (So?)
When we were living in Phoenix, Arizona, a lot of people (read Indians) told us that we were living in a village and there was nothing to see in Arizona (even Indians living in Arizona complained about that!). Nothing to see in Arizona? Nothing to see in the state that houses the GRAND CANYON NATIONAL PARK? We, in our one year there, couldn't get enough of Arizona - Petrified National Forest, Painted Desert, the Native American Ruins, the Meteor Crater, the RED mountains of Sedona, the small town beauty of Flagstaff, the everchanging scenary of ROUTE 66, the marvellous sunsets..... the list goes on. Apart from all this 'places to see' stuff, we found Phoenix a perfectly nice place to stay - and, I must mention here, cleaner and better maintained than any city I have seen in the US! None of the horrific traffic of California too! So, why shouldn't I want to live in Phoenix? "It's too hot for us", Indians say. Too hot? Hello..... we are INDIANS. Haven't we lived in similar temperatures in India? And we did not even have air conditioning then. The hot weather hardly affects you (unless you decide to spend an afternoon jogging in the sun!) So, I fail to understand the complaint.
The best comment came from a lady in Calcutta (my first meeting with her!). She said she's never been to the US, but has seen photos and heard about the country from her many friends who live there. She asked me where I lived. I said, "Phoenix, Arizona". I could make out that she wasn't happy with my reply. She replied, "Hmm Arizona ta ektu remote, taai na? (Arizona is a little remote, isn't it?)" I was shocked to hear her confident declaration. I was yet to recover it when she came up with her masterstroke, "Why don't you move to New Jersey? Its got beautiful Pine trees." I wanted to scream, I wanted to laugh..... move to New Jersey because it has PINE TREES? I wanted to tell her, "Lady, you don't know me, you haven't even been to the US and you are telling me where to live and giving me a ridiculous reason to relocate?" But I didn't want to hurt her, so I kept quiet and nodded dumbly. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had a Pine tree too - in my front yard, right in Arizona.
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